HOW TO DEAL WITH A BLABBER MOUTH CON ARTIST MOTHER IN LAW

 

STEP #1

TELL HER SHE'S

A BLABBER MOUTH

 &THROW HER OUT

OF YOUR HOUSE!

STEP #2

UTILIZE THE FOLLOWING GUIDELINES

A con artist mother-in-law often displays patterns of manipulation, deception, and boundary-pushing to gain control, money, or sympathy. Unlike simple family drama, these actions are typically calculating and self-serving, with a history of preying on others. 

Here are red flags to help you identify and recognize a con artist mother-in-law.

Money and finances

• Constant money troubles. She frequently has "emergencies" that only you can solve, and her financial situations are often vague or confusing. When questioned, she may become evasive.
• Borrowing with no intention to repay. She might ask to borrow money for a series of misfortunes but offers inconsistent or changing explanations about her need for funds.
• Exploiting crises. She uses family emergencies or personal crises as an opportunity to ask for money, counting on your immediate, emotional reaction to prevent you from thinking clearly.
• Insisting on specific payment methods. She might demand money via gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency—methods that are harder to trace.
• Targeting vulnerable family members. She may attempt to scam other family members, particularly those who are elderly or who recently experienced a personal crisis, such as the death of a spouse. 

Manipulative and controlling behavior

• Guilt trips. She uses guilt to control your actions, making you feel responsible for her feelings or problems. If you refuse her request, she might frame it as a sign that you don't love or care about her.
• Blame-shifting. She refuses to take responsibility for her actions and instead twists situations to portray herself as the victim, making you feel like the aggressor.
• Disrespecting boundaries. A manipulator will ignore your clear and repeated "no" and push boundaries until you give in. When confronted, she may act confused or indignant.
• Gaslighting. She denies past events or conversations that you know happened, causing you to doubt your own memory and sanity.
• Love bombing and flattery. Early in the relationship, she may have overwhelmed you with excessive praise, gifts, or attention to win your trust. Once she has what she wants, the affection dwindles.
• Bringing out your worst traits. Skilled manipulators exploit your vulnerabilities like greed, fear, or insecurity to get what they want. 

Deceptive and unreliable patterns

• Inconsistent stories. Her stories are elaborate but often contain strange inconsistencies or details that don't add up. When you ask questions, she may have trouble keeping her lies straight.
• Charm and smooth talk. Con artists are often charming and professional on the surface. They work hard to sound and look impressive, which helps them gain trust.
• Elaborate backstories. She may offer a story about her wealth or success that sounds too good to be true, but there is no proof to back it up.
• A transient history. An inability to maintain long-term friendships or jobs can be a red flag. Manipulators often leave situations once their true nature is exposed.
• A "fair-weather" friend. She may seem very friendly when she wants something from you, but contact becomes sparse or disappears entirely once she has it. 

How to protect yourself

• Trust your gut. Your intuition is a powerful tool. If an interaction with her leaves you feeling confused, drained, or guilty, pay attention to that feeling.
• Document everything. Keep a detailed record of manipulative behavior, including dates, specific requests, and your interactions. This can help you recognize patterns and provide clarity.
• Create distance. A con artist thrives on constant interaction to manipulate you. Create emotional or physical distance by limiting how often you see her and how much information you share.
• Establish and enforce boundaries. Clearly communicate your boundaries to your mother-in-law and your spouse. Do not give in when she inevitably tests them.
• Maintain a united front with your spouse. It's essential that you and your partner are on the same page. If she tries to create division by badmouthing you or triangulating, talk it through with your partner so you can stand together.
• Seek professional guidance. A therapist or counselor can provide valuable support and coping strategies for dealing with manipulative family members. 

3RD & FINAL STEP

INSTALL A PAD LOCK

TO YOUR FRONT DOOR

AND A WARNING SIGN

Hope and Possibility Podcast with Dr. Greogry Jantz

EXPOSING THE ABUSIVE WIFE

 

PROVoKING MEN TO WRATH

 October 24, 2019  Lori Alexander Comments 

The other day, I tweeted this: “A wife has a much greater chance of being abused if she is quarrelsome, contentious, and abusive towards her husband rather than if she is kind, loving, and submissive. God’s ways are for our good, NOT for our harm.” It’s an eternal principle. We will reap what we sow but as so many hate God, they hate His principles. As expected, this tweet received a ton of outrage. (It’s easy to outrage and offend women these days. You would think they would simply ignore me as I ignore them.)

If women think that they can never provoke men to wrath, they’re fooling themselves. Jesus was even provoked to wrath! No, it doesn’t give men an excuse to be physically abusive but women should be a whole lot more careful about the way they treat their husbands. I provoked my husband to wrath on numerous occasions but thankfully, I married a man who can control his anger and would never harm me. Unfortunately, some men weren’t raised to control their anger.

My tweet wasn’t to give men the green light to physically abuse their wives. I don’t teach men. My tweet was to encourage wives to NOT provoke their husbands to wrath. Yes, we are responsible for our actions just as men are responsible for theirs, but some women today falsely believe that women can do no wrong. This is foolish thinking. Continually quarreling and being contentious can provoke a man to wrath! This is why the Bible speaks about foolish women tearing their homes down.

If you are being physically abused, please go here. Seek protection. There is never any excuse for a man to physically abuse a woman but we live in a fallen and sin-infested world, so this will happen until God decides to burn this earth up. In the meantime, we, as godly women, need to do our part to live peaceably and gently with our husbands in all submission and kindness. We are only responsible for our behavior not anyone else’s, but let’s not cause others to stumble in any way with our misbehavior.

Wives are commanded to submit to their disobedient husband. They are told to live in subjection to them without the word and with godly behavior (1 Peter 3:1-6). However, submission doesn’t cause abuse as many want to claim. A wife never has to submit to abuse. Never. It’s a mean, angry, or evil man who physically abuses his wife. These men need help but in the meantime, the wife needs to seek protection. But I do want to make this very clear: an abusive man will abuse his wife whether or not she is submissive.

Submission has NOTHING to do with abuse. This is why I don’t write about abuse every time I write about submission. They aren’t linked together as many want it to be. God commands wives to be submissive because it’s His divine and perfect order for marriage. Many wives have even won their disobedient husbands to the Lord and to them by living in subjection to them. God’s ways are for our good.

It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverbs 21:9

The wife is the “unexpected” abuser/reviler in a marriage. Biblically, the term “revile” speaks of the verbal aspect of mistreatment of others. It is a “non-contact” weapon in the arsenal of the bitter, controlling person. Both in society and in the Church, it is assumed that the husband is the one who reviles the wife, yet there is a growing trend where the opposite is the case. And this trend will continue to get worse as role confusion in marriage and relationships escalates in the modern world. Men in marriages where they are reviled feel alone, judged, and hopeless. Most men in this kind of marriage suffer silently since to openly admit this problem calls into question one’s masculinity. Being reviled is so painful and debilitating that most men seriously contemplate suicide. It is no wonder then, that the sin of “reviling” requires church discipline (1 Cor. 5:11; 6:10), yet how many churches practice this? This book is a must-read both for the husband living in a reviling marriage, but also for the Pastor who wishes to minister to his people according to the Scriptures. Drawing on his vast experience as a full-time Biblical Counselor, Dr. Edgington examines this pressing issue from both his experience in counseling husbands and wives, and also from the practical application of the Word of God. David D. Edgington, PhD is the founder and Executive Director of “Compassionate Counselors,” which is a Biblical Counseling ministry in Phoenix, Arizona. He is also an ordained Pastor with over 20 years of experience and is currently the Preaching Pastor at Christ’s Community Church in El Mirage,Arizona.  www.CompassionateCounselors.com

SEE LINK BELOW FROM FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

The Abuse of Men in Marriage

HOW CAN MARRIED COUPLES AVOID EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS?

 

Answer:

 

An emotional affair occurs when a married person shares emotional intimacy and support with an individual other than his/her spouse. Becoming emotionally intimate with someone other than one’s spouse can have a chilling effect on the marriage relationship; plus, emotional intimacy often progresses to physical intimacy, bringing devastation. Many people deny the seriousness of emotional affairs, but such affairs are not harmless and can destroy marriages and families.

Marital partners should share problems, feelings, and needs with one another and determine the boundaries of what can be shared outside the marriage and to whom. Having friendships outside of the marriage is a healthy thing, but a reliance on outsiders to meet emotional needs can become a temptation, especially when spouses spend much time apart. Co-workers and others with whom we spend large blocks of time can become a substitute for the emotional support of a spouse. Work relations and friendships need to have proper boundaries to ensure they do not become inappropriate.

There are warning signs that an innocent friendship could be leading to an emotional affair. When we start to feel a need to hide aspects of a relationship, we are crossing a line into inappropriate territory. Emotional distance between spouses or an increase in the number of arguments may indicate one spouse is turning to another person for closeness. Intimacy requires closeness, and that cannot happen if a spouse gives his/her closeness to someone outside the marriage.

Christians should guard against the temptation to lean on someone other than the spouse God has given to them. Here are some wise choices:

   1. Do not spend time alone with anyone of the opposite gender, especially someone you are attracted to.
   2. Do not spend more time with another person than you do with your spouse.
   3. Do not share intimate details of your life with anyone before sharing it with your spouse.
   4. Live transparently. Do everything as if your spouse were present.
   5. Devote personal time to prayer and Bible study. Ask God to put a hedge around your marriage (Job 1:10).
   6. Maintain a pure thought life. Do not entertain fantasies about other people.
   7. Plan time with your spouse on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis and use those times to build emotional closeness.

All of these choices will help Christians to identify weak areas and avoid the temptation of emotional affairs.

Christian priorities put marriage and family second only to the Lord. God is the only one who can fully meet our needs, and He is the first priority. God designed marriage to unite two people into one (Genesis 2:24). He wants them to grow together and let nothing separate them (Matthew 19:6). Married partners must value their relationship the way the Lord does and work on ways to strengthen it and build closeness. The Lord also forbids adultery or lusting for a person outside of marriage (Proverbs 6:25; Exodus 20:14; Matthew 5:28). People who go outside the Lord’s design to meet their needs sin against God and potentially ruin their relationships (Proverbs 6:32; 1 Corinthians 6:9–20).

Many in the world believe that married partners need “space” to the point of leading separate lives to have a healthy relationship. In no way does the Bible advocate codependency. However, a marriage is by definition a life lived and planned together; it is interdependency. Those who do not understand God’s plan for marriage may think it is unhealthy to share everything with one person, but that is what makes marriage different from any other relationship. It is a blessed union between two people and mirrors that of Christ and His church.

Sharing intimacy with someone other than a spouse, whether the intimacy is physical or emotional, is sin and a violation of trust.

 

 

The Abuse of Men By Women | Abuse Doesn't Care About Gender

 

 

 

"Abuse isn't always just one direction with a man being mean and a woman being victimized." Counselor, coach, and author, Ann  Silvers, joins us to shine some light on the rarely discussed relationships which involve women abusing men. Domestic violence and emotional abuse don't care about gender. Episode 226, February 16, 2021 See the book Abuse Of Men By Women → https://amzn.to/3qqbcqO  

 

Men can be on the receiving end of an abusive relationship! It could be from an emotionally abusive girlfriend, a physically abusive wife, or a female partner who is demanding, controlling, manipulative or bullying using any of the 7 forms of partner or spousal abuse.

This ground breaking book shatters the silence surrounding partner abuse where the target of the abuse is a man and the source of the abuse is a woman. It challenges the common perception that domestic violence and other types of partner abuse only happen to women.

Counselor and relationship coach, Ann Silvers, M.A., questions the cultural trend to ignore, condone, laugh at, or even applaud women treating men in ways that would be rightfully condemned if the genders were reversed.

Her unique perspective as a woman who herself was the target of partner abuse by a man, and who also recognizes that there are abusive women and abused men, has resulted in a book that is a cultural game changer.

This book stands alone with its gripping personal stories and detailed yet concise descriptions of emotionally abused men as well as every other form of partner abuse of men by their female partners: verbal, psychological/emotional, financial, spiritual, legal, physical, and sexual abuse.

"It Happens, It Hurts" describes what abuse OF men BY women looks like, why women do it, how we are supporting and encouraging women to abuse men, how men get pulled into these dysfunctional relationships, why they stay, the impact abusive or manipulative women have on men, and what can be done about it.

This book arms men with the information they need to avoid getting hooked into relationships with abusive or manipulative women.

It provides refreshing recognition, understanding, and direction for abused men who are struggling to deal with, or recover from, difficult relationships with an abusive wife or girlfriend.

And it helps women examine how they treat their husbands and boyfriends.

"It Happens, It Hurts" is a road map for men and women looking to help their brothers, fathers, sons, and friends who are being abused by women or teach them how to avoid getting pulled in by them.It is a call to action for helping professionals (teachers, counselors, ministers, police officers . . .) and all people who are willing to see what is really going on.

• The motivating drives in partner abuse are to control, demean, or punish.

• How women overcome any size differential to physically abuse a man who is larger than she is. 

• The 7 forms of partner abuse: physical, sexual, verbal, emotional/psychological, legal, financial, and spiritual.

• Why men and people in general are reluctant to recognize partner abuse by women (even when it's happening to them.)

 

 

 

What is Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome?

What is the Jekyll and Hyde Personality?

A Jekyll and Hyde personality is someone with a split personality that may have two distinct and diametrically opposed personalities. A split personality can have one side that is friendly and easygoing, while the other can be disconnected or even abusive. 

These people reveal different facets of themselves based on the circumstances but they are also capable of possessing double lives or completely different personalities—personalities that would be barely recognizable to people who meet them in other settings.

The characters Jekyll and Hyde are the brainchild of Robert Louis Stevenson. Stevenson’s famed Victorian era fiction novel was inspired by him being plagued by intense and disturbing nightmares of living dual lives himself and so Jekyll and Hyde were created. Let’s look deeper into the Jekyll And Hyde Personality.

The Jekyll And Hyde Personality

Normal people experience mood swings from time to time and have diverse personalities but people with Jekyll and Hyde personalities are on a whole other level. They might experience radical mood swings and outbursts of rage. 

There’s no knowing what might get them all fired up and spiraling into the dark evil side of their personality which may be depressed, cold and sulky or even worse abusive, cruel and violent. Such people are said to have Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome, and they might live double lives which cause much inner turmoil for them and for their loved ones.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is about a man named Dr. Henry Jekyll, who is well-liked, popular, and has a magnificent intellect, but is well aware of the duplicity of his life and the evil that hides inside him.

Dr. Jekyll subtly expresses the evil in his soul by numerous horrific actions, but he is unable to do so publicly for fear of social scrutiny. During his experiments, he creates a concoction that allows him to liberate this evil inside him from the influence of his good self, resulting in the creation of Edward Hyde.

Edward Hyde is amoral and corrupt. His psyche is not only opposite of Dr. Jekyll’s, but his body is also hideous and disfigured. As a result, Dr. Jekyll believes he can enjoy the pleasures that both sides of his personality without being hampered by the constraints of the other.

Edward Hyde steadily gains more influence over the ‘good’ counterpart, eventually driving Dr. Jekyll to his death by suicide.

Mood Shifts and Dualism in Jekyll And Hyde Personalities

People with the Jekyll and Hyde syndrome don’t just go through regular mood swings and reveal different aspects of themselves like the rest of us. The following characteristics distinguish individuals with a Jekyll and Hyde personality:

• Mood shifts accompanied with an entire personality switch
• Deeply conflicted inner selves bring about mood shifts
• Mood shifts that are often accompanied with abuse
• Mood shifts that are much higher in intensity and frequency as compared to an average individual
• Most of them are not even aware of their mood shifts or split personalities and may be in outright denial
• Some of them actually live dual lives. They might be well regarded members of the society that conceal a dark side of their personality that causes them to behave in ways that would be surprising and painful to those who hold them in high esteem 
• They could build multiple personalities to engage in actions that are not acceptable in mainstream society.

The 7 Types of Jekyll and Hyde Personalities

According to psychotherapist Beverly Engel there are seven types of Jekyll and Hyde personalities:

The Super Nice/ Abusive Person

This person can be sweet and charming one moment and aggressive the next. Disparagement, ridicule, and criticism are the most common forms of violence, but physical abuse can also eventuate. Once some time has elapsed, the individual is usually repentant and returns to his normal loving self only to spiral back into the darkness.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

The Unpredictable Person

You never know when this person will get irritated, explode, go on a rampage, retreat and sulk, or totally change their mind about anything. They are overly sensitive, and you never know whether anything you say or do would hurt them.

The classic Jekyll and Hyde who truly lives a double life

When he’s with his family, he might be one person, but when he’s not, he’s a totally different guy. Some people with this form of Jekyll and Hyde personality have developed distinct personalities, along with going by multiple names or marrying more than one person.

Someone whose personality radically changes when he or she drinks alcohol, takes drugs, or engages in other addictive activities

This sort of radical change normally occurs only when the individual is altered due to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and other factors, as it did with Dr. Jekyll after he drank a concoction he crafted in his laboratory.

The Imposter

This person attempts to deceive others into believing that he is something they are not. This can mean claiming to care more about other people’s well-being or to be more popular than they are. They lie, deceive, and mislead people on a daily basis.

Someone whose opinion of others fluctuates drastically

This individual has a tendency to categorise others as either “all good” or “all bad.” Whenever they see others as “all evil,” they can’t see any praiseworthy virtues about them and feel rightful in treating them badly or absolutely ignoring them even if it is their very own child.

Someone who changes dramatically when you challenge him or her in any way

As long as things are going their way or they are in charge, these people can be compassionate and accommodating. You will see a totally different person if you do not do what they wishe, if you criticise them in some way, or if you dare to refute them. They will get angry, dismissive, and harsh.

Causes of Jekyll And Hyde Syndrome

People suffering from this syndrome are quite often extremely conflicted individuals. It’s possible that this inner conflict stems from being raised by conservative religious or authoritarian parents who disciplined them harshly for misbehaving.

A Jekyll and Hyde personality develops a deep dark side or Shadow that contains all of the repressed and internalised feelings and desires. This dark side has the ability to physically take over a human, forcing them to form a separate entity that is free to carry out secret desires. Scary isn’t it?

It seems as if people with the Jekyll and Hyde personality have an “episode” that causes them to alter their personality for a short period of time. Many who were verbally, emotionally, or sexually abused as children often experience drastic mood swings as a result of someone or something triggering memories of the trauma.

Signs of Jekyll And Hyde Personality

Here are some signs of the Jekyll and Hyde Personality:

• They might be giving signs of having double lives
• They change dramatically based on who they are in the presence of.
• They might confuse others by keeping them confused about who they actually are
• Certain events trigger this person ‘s personality to shift or their mood to change abruptly.
• They tend to have a public persona that is somewhat inconsistent with how they act in the privacy of their own home.
• They often contradict themselves by expressing one viewpoint or opinion one moment and the opposite viewpoint the next.
• They tend to be hypocritical in that they strongly condemn some behaviours in others while often engaging in the same actions themselves.
• They see themselves in a very different light than the rest of the world does.
• Once they’ve had a few drinks or used recreational drugs, they change their personality or become an entirely different person.
• They want to be seen as a pillar of the society or as someone who is deeply religious, but they often engage in conduct that is deemed inappropriate, immoral, or even illegal.

The Takeaway

Ours is a universe of darkness and light, of goodness and evil and we as humans possess dualism of nature. Each of us has a side which we prefer to show the world i.e. persona (Dr. Jekyll), and a dark side which we try so hard to hide from others i.e. the shadow self (Mr. Hyde).

Guess what? The parts of us which were rejected or denied expression when we were children have not died out, in fact they live on within us to this very moment (aka the beast inside). Wisdom lies in acknowledging that each of us has a dark side and doing shadow work in order to understand ourselves better and help ourselves. 

Conclusion

In this article, we will look at the Jekyll and Hyde personality in depth and explore the types of Jekyll and Hyde personalities along with signs and causes of Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome.

If you’ve enjoyed the ”Jekyll And Hyde Personality” you should take a look at ”Fight Club: Multiple Personality Disorder” too.

Frequently Asked Questions: Jekyll And Hyde Personality

What mental disorder does Dr Jekyll have?

The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is a notable example of split personality disorder.

Is Jekyll and Hyde about schizophrenia?

However, while the term schizophrenia had not yet been invented, there is no suggestion that the public at the time thought of the Jekyll and Hyde personality as schizophrenia. In reality, the Jekyll and Hyde personality was linked to the concept of multiple personalities, which is now known as dissociative identity disorder.

Why did Jekyll kill himself?

Hyde’s evil grows more pronounced as the story advances. Finally, when Jekyll commits suicide in order to rid himself of Hyde (suicide is considered an unethical act by the church), Hyde takes over as the dominant evil entity, and the dying Jekyll transforms into Hyde in his final moments.

Is Jekyll and Hyde one person?

Mr. Hyde and Jekyll are the same human. Dr. Jekyll is a scientist who, in order to distinguish his good self from his evil instincts, concocts a potion that turns him into a man without a conscience.

What is the message of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde?

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson’s spiritual lesson is that man’s soul is combined with both good and bad components. Since man is characterised by the strife within his own self and how he interacts with it, these essential elements cannot be segregated.