Saturday, September 23, 2023

15 Signs of an Arrogant and Unhealthy Pastor to Look Out For

 REVEREND BOZO

THE SELF ANNOINTED

AND SELF APPOINTED 

WANABE CELEBRITY PASTOR



Would you know the signs of an arrogant pastor if you had one in your church? Pastors are there to lead, teach and engage with members and visitors alike. When that person is toxic, the foundation of your church community could crumble.  

It’s important that your church leadership and pastor search committee know how to spot the characteristics of a bad pastor to make sure an arrogant pastor never makes it into the pulpit... But if you ever have one, we’ve made a list of 15 signs to watch out for and a look at what to do, just in case.  

1. Unteachable

“Whoever loves instruction and correction loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is like a brute beast, stupid and indiscriminating.” — Proverbs 12:1(AMPC) 

A wise pastor once said; “Whatever I preach, the message is for me first.” This is the wisdom of someone who operates with humility. Although the Bible does say that teachers are held to a higher standard (James 3:1), be leery of any pastor who thinks that he should only be the teacher and never a student. No one grows that way.

2. Inflexible

“There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant — ‘I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual’ — you wouldn’t be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no yes-man to the Sabbath; he’s in charge.” — Matthew 12:6-8(Message) 

Some churches never grow because one of the signs of an arrogant pastor is inflexibility. They aren’t open to new ideas. They are never willing to think outside of the box. If they didn’t come up with a plan, they are quick to reject it. 

Disagree with an arrogant person at your peril because they’re unlikely to let it drop.

They usually have a grasping need to be right in every situation — even apparently trivial matters.

Never letting an argument go and fiercely protecting their opinions and beliefs is a sign of their fragile ego.

They often adopt a fixed rather than growth mindset which closes them off from considering other people’s points of view.

To be flexible is to be adaptable. A good pastor can adjust to the needs and growth of their church.

3. Impatient

“Better is the end of a thing than the beginning of it, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” — Ecclesiastes 7:8(AMPC) 

I Corinthians 13:4 tells us that love is not only kind, but it’s patient. Patience isn’t just about being willing to wait, but also “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.” 

No one likes to deal with disappointments, but an arrogant pastor will always get triggered because they tend to have control tendencies. Rarely can they keep their emotions in check because they like to either rush things or they’re always complaining about something not going their way. They're also too impatient to properly handle church conflicts.

4. Unforgiving

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32(NKJV) 

Author Gary Zukav once said that forgiveness is simply accepting that the past cannot change. An arrogant pastor believes this when it comes to the hurts, harm and offense they cause. At the same time, they don’t apply this way of thinking when someone hurts them. 

There is no way any pastor of merit can run an emotionally healthy church if they are not willing to forgive. After all, it is the cornerstone of faith. 

“Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ 

Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” — Matthew 18:21-22(NKJV)

5. “No Earthly Good”

“Therefore I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand.” — Matthew 13:13(NKJV) 

Something that drew so many people to Christ is that he was relatable to them. Just as Matthew 13:13 states, that’s why he spoke in parables — except to Satan and the Pharisees. He wanted those he came into contact with to understand his insights. 

An arrogant and unhealthy pastor could not care less. They usually think that if you’re not as astute as they are, it’s a sign of being biblically and spiritually ignorant. That causes them to look down on you rather than support and encourage you.

6. Would Rather Be Popular Than Biblical

“There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests—look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular.” — Luke 6:26(Message) 

The Message Version of Luke 6:26 basically says it all. We are living in a time when many pastors would prefer to be treated as celebrities rather than servants of the Lord. When a pastor would rather hear applause rather than receive the approval of God, something is off — way off.

7. Refuses to Share the Spotlight

“Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions.” — Luke 2:46(NKJV) 

When it comes to the characteristics of a bad pastor, something else that gets overlooked is how much they want to hog the spotlight. It’s a telltale sign of arrogance. 

They never want visiting pastors to speak. They don’t allow other church leaders to be in the pulpit. Anything that will gain the church a bit of attention, they want their name — and their name only — to be the focus. 

A healthy pastor is the opposite. Not only do they not mind sharing the spotlight, but they also prefer it. They want their church to be seen as a family that’s filled with different voices and gifts. They welcome other pastors to share what they have to offer too.

8. Has No Accountability

“Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].” — Ephesians 5:16(AMPC) 

What does it mean to be an accountable person? It means that you are willing to acknowledge things you’ve done and hold yourself responsible for them. Accountability is a sign of real self-awareness and true maturity. 

A toxic and arrogant church leader could not care less about accountability. They deflect, gaslight and find every possible way to blame someone else for the things they did. 

A part of the reason is that they want to be seen as perfect in the eyes of others. Another reason is they often see themselves as “above” everyone else to do what’s required to set things right.

9. Deflects the Biblical Standard of Their Role

“This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules their own house well, having their children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover, he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.” — I Timothy 3:1-7(NKJV) 

Speaking of deflection, there are some pastors out there who are getting exposed for doing some pretty horrific things. Their excuse? “We all make mistakes.” 

That’s true and no pastor should be seen as supernatural or perfect. At the same time, the Bible is quite clear... a pastor is supposed to live in a way that is above reproach. 

That doesn’t mean they can and will never mess up. What it does mean is they should not be so casual about their lifestyle that they forget that I Timothy 3 expects them to hold themselves to a higher standard.

10. Wants to be Treated Like a Rock Star

“The payoff for meekness and Fear-of-God is plenty and honor and a satisfying life.” — Matthew 22:4(Message) 

While the Bible says that meekness and respect for God are what brings honor, one of the signs of an arrogant pastor is that they think they should be treated like a rock star gaining constant adoration and applause. Some think they shouldn’t speak anywhere except their own church unless they receive thousands of dollars. 

Some pastors even give autographs or refuse to acknowledge “fans”. That said, being well-known is one thing. However, thinking that you should be highly esteemed just because you preach? That’s one of the signs of an unhealthy pastor.

11. Passive Aggressive from the Pulpit

“…that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.” — Ephesians 4:4-16(NKJV) 

Another indication of bad church leadership is a pastor who tells people’s business from the pulpit. It’s a form of gossip that they try and disguise behind Scripture. 

Ephesians 4 says a part of what comes with being a believer is when you do speak the truth, there is love attached to it. Proverbs 10:12(NKJV) reminds us that “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.” 

A toxic pastor finds cryptic ways to expose others’ business. A healthy pastor is discreet about it.

12. Cares Most about Appearances

“We justify our actions by appearances; God examines our motives.” — Proverbs 21:2(Message) 

Have you ever heard the saying, “When you get to heaven, you’ll be surprised who is there — and who isn’t”? A part of this is because far too many people are caught up in appearances. Arrogant pastors are not exempt. 

People must be careful of that because 2 Corinthians 11:14(NKJV) says, “And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.” In other words, just because a pastor may look the part, that doesn’t mean their character fits the part.

13. Flaunts Their Financial Success

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep.” — John 10:11-13(NKJV) 

By definition, a hireling is someone who only works for pay. Pastors need to make a living just like everyone else. At the same time, bragging about their wealth, flaunting it over the pulpit, or making members feel “less than” is nothing but pure arrogance. 

Bad church leadership is all about showing off. Good church leadership is all about pointing the glory back to God for their blessings while helping others with their needs as well.

14. Abuses Authority

“For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.” — Romans 13:1(NKJV) 

One of the other signs of an unhealthy pastor is that they abuse their authority. They misuse tithes and offerings. They mentally and emotionally manipulate their staff. They tell people to do things that are questionable under the guise of “This is what God said to do”. 

A healthy pastor is always aware of the fact that, just like God allowed them to become pastors, God can remove them just as quickly. They see their authority as an opportunity to help others, not take advantage of them.

15. Lacks Empathy and Compassion

“The Lord is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.” — Psalm 145:8(NLT) 

Pastors are there to represent the image of God and God is compassionate. Compassion is all about having a deep desire to relieve the suffering of others. 

An arrogant pastor cannot do this because being compassionate requires being empathetic. A healthy pastor is extremely compassionate because they are intentional about trying to put themselves into the shoes of others and that helps them to love in an extraordinary way. 

What to Do If You See Signs of an Arrogant Pastor in Your Church 

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.” — Matthew 18:15-16(NLT) 

So, what do you do if you realize you have an arrogant or unhealthy pastor in your church? While the solutions somewhat depend on the circumstances, here are a few ways to approach the matter: 

  • Schedule a meeting to speak with someone in church leadership
  • Give leadership time to address the matter then approach them  
  • Do not spread rumors  
  • Treat the pastor like you would want to be treated 
  • Pray for the pastor 

Arrogance is not something that can be changed overnight, but there is power in prayer, unity and accountability. If you are in a church that seeks to mature and thrive, you will want everyone involved to become better people — the pastor included. 


check out the video below


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Tuesday, September 19, 2023

WINNING DEBATES & ARGUMENTS



 

TIPS FOR WINNING DEBATES AND ARGUMENTS

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Do you feel overwhelmed when you get into an argument and cannot get your point across? Do you think that you can’t articulate your thoughts properly even when you know you’re right? Skilled debate takes quick thinking and effective communication.

If you want to get better at debates and arguments, read on. We have gathered tips from experts that will help you get better at debating in no time.

1. Decide On a Position You Feel Capable Of Defending

Try to stick to a topic you feel passionately about. If you feel passionate about something, it is likely that you know a lot about it and can convincingly defend your stance while debating.

2. Become Well-Informed About Both Your and Your Opponent’s Positions

In some cases, you do not have the liberty of choosing your stance. For instance, you will be assigned random positions if you are in a debate group, and you will have to defend it regardless. In such cases, it is recommended that you think of the topic impartially and come up with reasons to support your position. 

Not only that, but you should also prepare for your opponent’s points, as that helps you think of the counterarguments. These tactics will help you come up with a convincing argument.

3. State a Thesis At the Beginning

A thesis statement is a brief statement in which you briefly explain what position you’re taking and some of the main reasons you support it. 

For instance, you can say that “I believe that parents should limit screen time of their children, as constant glaring at the screen has many harmful effects, such as weakening of eyesight, delayed cognitive growth, and others.”

4. Listen Carefully To Your Opponent’s Response

Debates and arguments do not happen in isolation. You cannot give a genuine response unless you listen to what your opponent says and build your points on that.

Often, you can pick apart your opponent’s faulty reasoning and question them. For instance, you can say, “That logic doesn’t check out” or “Is there any study to support your claim?”

5. Do Not Forego the Objections That Your Opponent Raises

Just like you will question your opponent’s claims, your opponent will do that to you, as well. Do not hesitate to answer these questions. If you are well-prepared and familiar with the topic, you will be able to back your claim satisfactorily. 

6. Remain Calm and Rational At All Times

This is a tricky one, as you can only master remaining calm and rational through practice. Of course, you will be a bundle of nerves the first few times you debate, even if these are informal debates. However, you are sure to get better with time and practice.

Remember that you are not here to attack your opponent’s stance but to convince them about yours. Even if they fail to understand your position, try to develop points that support your claim reasonably and rationally. The key is to keep your calm!

Concluding Thoughts

Debating is a skill, and it only becomes better with time and practice. Remember the tips discussed above, and you will become skilled at debating in no time!




Sunday, September 17, 2023

What is spiritual abuse?


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To “abuse” is to use something or someone to bad effect or for a bad purpose, especially regularly or repeatedly. Spiritual abuse happens when a spiritual authority, such as a cult leader or abusive pastor, seeks to control individuals and ensure obedience. Spiritual abuse is closely associated with spiritual manipulation and is not God’s plan for promoting spiritual growth.

A spiritually abusive group might claim that they are God’s sole channel of communication and that they alone can rightly interpret God’s Word. They might claim that salvation depends upon belonging to their church and that, since God speaks through them alone, there can be no further discussion on what the leaders say. Or the leaders might point to God’s blessing on their work—proved by increased baptisms, perhaps—and push members to contribute more generously to their expansion programs. Pushing for more money, promising that God will repay, and piling on guilt can be signs of covert abuse.

Abusive groups also place great emphasis on performance-related works—attending every meeting; volunteering to help at local, regional, and national events; and devoting required minimum amounts of time to proselytizing. Members are constantly reminded that the end of this wicked system of things is imminent and so there is very little time left to spread the “good news.” Everyone must do more in the advancement of “God’s work.” The dedication of each member is tracked and measured by the amount of time, effort, and money he or she gives to the cause. If an individual’s efforts begin to slip below expectations, it will be noticed.

Spiritual abuse can occur when church or cult leaders misuse Scripture to bolster their own authority and keep their members under their thumb. For example, a spiritual authority may use Hebrews 13:17 (“Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority”) to demand blind loyalty and unthinking obedience. A leader might say, “God has given me authority over you; thus, to disobey me is to disobey God.” If members grow uneasy and think about leaving, all the leader has to do is say, “If you leave this group, you will never go to heaven, because only we have the truth.” This type of manipulation is appalling, but it occurs more often than one might think. Our loyalty is due Christ, the Head of the church (Ephesians 1:22), not a particular organization, church, or leader.

Cults and abusive churches pre-emptively insulate members from any information critical of the group. Members are taught early on to be skeptical of any negative report about the group and that the biased media only lies about them. These “lies” are identified as a form of persecution, which “proves” they must be the one true religion. So, for example, if journalists report on leaders who have been found guilty of child abuse, the organization simply tells its members they cannot believe anything the newspapers say about them—it’s all lies and smears. If simple denial doesn’t work, they move on to rationalization and wishful thinking. Spiritually abusive leaders can become so adept at thought and information control that those under their sway will actually defend their new identity over their former identity.

The more committed to the abusive church a person becomes, the more isolated he becomes from non-members, and the more he fears punishment if he tries to leave. Some people, after a lifetime of emotional investment in a religious group, simply do not know how they could survive if they left. They have no friends other than their fellow church members. They may have cut off contact with family members. They probably have no interests (social or intellectual) outside of their group. Such is their fear of being ostracized that many stay put, keeping their misgivings to themselves.

Jonestown survivor Deborah Layton wrote, “When our own thoughts are forbidden, when our questions are not allowed and our doubts are punished, when contacts and friendships outside of the organization are censored, we are being abused for an end that never justifies its means. When our heart aches knowing we have made friendships and secret attachments that will be forever forbidden if we leave, we are in danger. When we consider staying in a group because we cannot bear the loss, disappointment and sorrow our leaving will cause for ourselves and those we have come to love, we are in a cult” (Seductive Poison. New York: Anchor Books, 1998, page 299).

Peter warned us that “there will be false teachers among you” (2 Peter 2:1). As he described these false teachers, Peter points to their propensity to abuse their followers: “In their greed these teachers will exploit you with fabricated stories” (verse 3), or as the KJV puts it, “They [shall] with feigned words make merchandise of you.” Those who would attempt to use the Word of God to take advantage of the church are greedy liars, and they will bring divine retribution upon themselves: “Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping” (verse 3).

Jesus’ yoke is easy, and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). Those who claim to speak for Jesus today should not be placing heavier burdens on people than Jesus would.

pastor is to be a shepherd. Shepherds who abuse the flock can expect severe punishment when the Lord returns: “He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers. . . . From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked” (Luke 12:46–48). With privilege comes responsibility, and those spiritual wolves who abuse their authority will have to answer to God for the harm they have done.

Saturday, September 16, 2023

What does the Bible say about feminism?

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The modern concept of feminism was not present during the time that the Bible was written, but that does not mean the Bible has nothing to say on the basic issues of feminism. Even when the Scriptures seem to be silent on something that affects us today, there are eternal principles that speak to the underlying issue.

First, we should define feminism, since the term can have different meanings for different people. Basically, feminism is a philosophy that advocates equal rights for women and men—socially, politically, economically, and in other ways. Early feminists fought for and won suffrage for women. Today’s feminism goes further than demanding equal treatment of men and women, however. Modern feminists fight for abortion on demand, language equality (insisting on saying “chairperson” instead of “chairman,” for example), and the blurring of gender lines. The more radical feminists actively seek to overthrow any vestige of male dominance in society, oppose the biblical roles of husbands and wives, and promote lesbianism. Radical feminists deny there is any difference between men and women, teaching that any perceived differences between the sexes are due solely to social conditioning.

Modern feminism is a counterfeit solution to the real issue of the inequality of women in a sinful society. Feminism arrogates to itself the right to demand respect and equality in every aspect of life. Feminism is based in arrogance, and it is the opposite of the call to the born-again believer to be a servant. The modern, militant feminists call women to rise up and rebel against the order that God has given to humankind. That brand of feminism seeks to impose humanistic values in direct opposition to the Word of God. Feminism was originally a positive movement, focused on giving women the basic rights God intends for every human being to have. Tragically, feminism now focuses on destroying distinctions in the roles of men and women.

What then should be a Christian’s view of feminism? A believing woman who is seeking to obey God and walk in peace and grace should remember that she has equal access to all spiritual blessings in Christ. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). A believing woman should not allow herself to be used as a pawn in the worldly agenda of the feminist movement. A believing man should uphold the nuclear family as the biblical model for society, promote true Christian values, and (if he’s married) honor and cherish his wife and take responsibility for protecting and providing for his family. Both men and women have a God-given privilege to fulfill the plan He has set for us. Rebellion against that plan and the arrogance that seeks to put self above God’s Word brings difficult consequences. We see those consequences in damaged relationships between husbands and wives, the destruction of the family, and the loss of respect for human life.

Many women today have bought into the lie that feminism will empower and free them. However, rallying for abortion, dispensing with God-given roles, and working to dismantle the family unit will bring neither power nor freedom. Protection of the innocent, obedience to God’s Word, and fortification of the family are much more empowering and freeing. “I will walk in freedom,” says the psalmist, “for I have devoted myself to your commandments” (Psalm 119:45).

There has always been inequality in the world. It is sad but true that artificial barriers have always divided humanity—barriers that have no basis in God’s Word. It is sin in the heart that causes inequality, sin that causes some men to treat women in demeaning or objectifying ways. And it is sin that seeks counterfeit solutions to counteract these inequalities. The only cure for discrimination and inequality is obedience to God. If men and women would humbly submit to God’s Word, then striving would cease, the genders would complement each other, and the harmony that God ordained would flourish.




Friday, September 15, 2023

IS IT WRONG TO READ/STUDY OTHER BOOKS OUTSIDE OF THE BIBLE?

 




Should we read other books, or just the Bible?

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The Bible teaches that we should meditate on the words of God (Psalm 1:2). It also teaches that, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). In other words, other books that encourage holy living can be helpful in our walk with Christ. Commentaries, Bible studies, devotional literature—there are many writings that can deepen our understanding of Scripture.

Further, other books are helpful for many practical areas of life. From medical information to car repair, information we need for daily living can be found in books.

Third, some fiction is useful for both learning and enjoyment. As long as the book honors the Lord, a novel can communicate truth, just as Jesus did in His parables. First Corinthians 10:31 teaches, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” This is the standard for the believer. If a particular book is read for the glory of God, then there is a legitimate reason for reading it.

Fourth, some books can help us to better understand and reach out to those who do not know Christ. The Bible is clear we are called to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:18-20). Books helpful in this cause could include language study, cultural analysis, and even the religious works of other religions. While much care should be exercised with this last category, it is helpful to be acquainted with the literature of other cultures in order to more effectively communicate the truths of the Bible.

Of course, there are some books that Christians should not read. Certainly, books that “call evil good and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20) should be avoided. Also, books with gratuitous descriptions of immorality or bloodshed are not worthwhile, especially if they include graphic images or pornography. Such books are part of “the unfruitful works of darkness” (Ephesians 5:11), which Paul calls “shameful” (Ephesians 5:12).

Finally, it should be clear that the Bible is the most important book and should receive highest priority among Christians. Other books can be beneficial and include truth, but only the Bible is “God-breathed” and inspired (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Sometimes, Paul appealed to other writings (Acts 17) when communicating Christ to others, but the vast majority of his references are to the inspired writings of the Old Testament.

We are called to study the Bible: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15). This requires much time in Scripture.

Jesus Himself serves as our greatest example. When He was tempted, how did He respond? Three times He appealed to the Word of God (Matthew 4:1-11). Other books can help in our walk with God, yet they must never distract from our commitment to the Word of God.